Never in a million years you would expect yourself to be writing these with him in your thoughts
You’ve been in denial for a while now
Fighting off feelings
Feeling like you’ve been betrayed by your own self
After swearing you would never fall for him in a million years
After much pondering
You think you have fallen for him
Like it was something irrevocable, irreversible
You could be standing in the rain while he rests in his sleep
He still won’t know a thing
That your heart beats for him
That his words have kept you up all night
And that he magically, and randomly appears in your dream
You can love this most imperfect person
You never knew you could, but now you do
You hate his nature of always wanting to be right
But these silly mental sword fights just turns you on
And how it takes all your energy just to keeps your hands off him
Like one time when in your mind, you feel like you wanted to give him a hug
And felt how much you wanted to just love him
You just want to take care of him
You want to listen to stories of how his day went
And how you look forward just being with him
Now every single fucking song seems to be about him
And you miss him, you know you do
But as they said, it takes two to tango
It sure feels like your own solo recital
Do not be deceived by your own thoughts, your own wishful thinking
For how long are you going to keep this from him?
Can you possibly see a future despite his pessimism and negativity?
I know you can endure all his painful past and current circumstances because love makes all things possible
But can you be assured that both of you are in this together?
Can you guarantee yourself his loyalty to fight for this relationship?
It is possible to just love him from a safe distance
It need not be mutual
You need not know if its mutual
Because what can you do?
So darling take a breather and let go
Just let it.