Adulting 101 · Tête-à-tête · Wri-therapy

When you thought you are doing good

Few years ago, I learned by accident that I have high blood pressure. I was so into playing zombie tsunami on my ipad that when I sat down, my sister decided to check my BP since we have a digital monitor at home. I gamely  had my arm checked and I have high blood pressure.

Which prompted me to take another test, with the same results. I went to the doctor, scared and nervous, got the same results. She gave me meds. I took them, then quit. I thought, I am too young to be taking this.

In December 2014, I thought I had dengue. I went to the ER and when the nurse took my BP, they were alarmed that my BP is 160 over a hundred. I was scared to be confined, they had me take a medicine to bring it down and I had to sign a waiver just so that I could go home.

From then on I started taking amlodipine 5mg for maintenance. Even though I could not feel anything. I’ve never been dizzy, never vomitted, all those stuff that I googled I never experienced, it’s just that every time I take my BP I get so shit scared. I even developed a white coat hypertension everytime a doctor or nurse comes to me to take my BP.

Last year I had my annual physical exam after 4 years. My BP was 140/90 at 75kilos. The doctor wanted to adjust the medicines, I said no and told him to allow me to change my lifestyle.

So I did.

This January, I regularly exercised, gave up red meat (pork and beef, but I ate some this year but so little amount it’s like the two spoons, not even spoonful). I also gave up eating rice, and ate little of it when I have no choice since rice is the staple food in the Philippines. I also quit drinking soda since last year, no coffee, more water, ate plenty of vegetables, and really changed my lifestyle.

I wrote before that early March, I braved the BP monitor again and learned that my BP went down. I cried like a child. I thanked God for not letting me down and for giving me a fighting chance. When I got sick last March, the nurse checked me at 120/70 BP and at 71 kilos. I lost weight with good blood pressure, which made me so happy.

From then on, I kept all my BP records. I am proud to say that I am now in a healthy state of blood pressure.

Which is why it came to a surprise when I had my BP checked this morning and the nurse counted it as 140/80. She said it’s still okay, but if I want I can have my blood chemistry checked.

I was so disappointed. This morning I even went for a half an hour walk-jog. I did so good last week that I exercised for 5 straight days and started longer jogs. I told the nurse that I am normal in BP digital monitor, and she said those things usually are added 10 more for accuracy. Fifteen minutes later, as soon as I got home, I measured my blood pressure once again and the reading went like this:

  • 8:35 AM – 118/78
  • 8:37 AM – 105/89
  • 8:38 AM – 108/81
  • 8:39 AM – 97/69

WTF right? I texted my doctor friend and she told me not to worry about it. Even the nurse said earlier that it’s okay, as long as the number at the bottom wont increase.

It’s 11:42 now and I still cant shake the feeling off. I really thought I was doing so well. I’m just 4 months in and starting my 5th month into this lifestyle change. Am I just expecting too much? Have I set unrealistic expectations for myself?

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