Yesterday, I day dreamed myself into driving to the office. My day was not off to a good start. It’s not as bad as the bad days I’ve had before, it’s just that it was the cherry on top of all the bad feelings I’ve suppressed. God knows I’ve tried.
“Lord, you know I’m trying”
I said out loud while turning on the right curve. I look forward going to work and sulking in my tiny cubicle so I can have a quiet alone time in my own world, at least a few hours before lunch time.
I thought about sneaking for 15mins to go to the church to light a few candles. I have been doing every week since the beginning of the year and I think it helps “shield” the bad stuff from affecting my week.
Then I get a text from P asking if we can go to light candles at the church together. Great, exactly what I need.
We ended up having more than the average lunch hour. I needed someone to talk to. I ended up sharing more than I intended, because she’s someone I trust and relate to. She’d seen me grow through my adulthood resistance. I told her my unconventional adulthood lessons that created my backbone.
I felt a little better when I went back to the office. Then I get a message in our group chat from my trusty group of friends to meet for drinks after work. We haven’t seen each other since January of this year so it was nice to catch up. I ended up spending time with my favorite people and went home past midnight.
The supposed to be bad day had vanished into thin air.
Earlier that day, I was thinking that it’s just a bad day not a bad life. I will survive this like most days, it’s just that I needed a little help at times. And every time, I feel like I might be on the verge of losing it, God seems to be sending me the people I like (out of nowhere) to diffuse the bad air.
The next morning (this morning) still had remnants of what I was upset about. But I felt lighter. I only had 5 hours of sleep but I felt energized. I know some people would love to have my problems. But sometimes, those are just what my plate can take.